BLBLCO

Days and other days

Will — Sun, 04 Jan 2009 15:33:46 +0000

It’s funny: most of my friends’ blogs have turned into accounts of their lives in reality, chronicles of the everyday, of projects, goals acheived, of the mundane. I don’t mean to say this to discredit or disregard them, nor to say this journal has never veered into that territory; in fact, I might say that the majority if the content of this blog has been merely a retelling of my daily events.

There are times, however, that I have more difficult or complex things to express, emotional topics or thoughts about the direction of my life. It used to be that when I’d write posts in that arena, I did so unselfconsciously, using the words to lay out, if not fully explain, how or what I was feeling. Now, though, I stop and wonder, “Is it OK, is it normal for me to be putting this into words let alone out for everyone to see?” I’m 26 now, after all, and shouldn’t I be more grounded?

Truth be told, I don’t feel grounded at all. I’ve never felt more out of control than I do now. That’s not to say my life is wild; I simply lack control over many of the factors in my life. It is in some ways like the life of a child, something for which I’ve heard many people express desire. (Let me reassure you: you can’t, and don’t want to, go back.) I think in part this contributes a great deal to the overwhelmingly emotional melodrama I experience on a near-daily basis, and I wonder if I only thought I’d grow out of it, if I never will, if anyone ever does or if it’s just the thin veneer of adulthood applied over top of our teenaged psyches that gives the appearance of composure and control.

I suppose, then, that these posts more than any others are the ones that matter to me. Sure, it’s nice to be able to look back and reminisce on past happenings, but these are topics I want confirmation on or communication about right now. It’s not that I’m looking for answers; if I thought anyone actually had any answers I’d have just Googled them. A simple acknowldgement, a you’re-not-crazy-or-stupid is more than enough.

The fix

Will — Sat, 03 Jan 2009 23:55:27 +0000

Late nights don’t lend themselves to solutions. Caffeine doesn’t wake you up any better than a good game of chicken. It’s cold in winter, depending on where you live.

When I’m feeling motivated, I can burn through a task. There is nothing stopping me from realizing my potential to create. I am not unique, yet I am confident my chemistry is quite mine.

Attention

Will — Sat, 27 Dec 2008 02:57:46 +0000

You wanna add to the pile of year-end lists? Great! You don’t, however, need to preface your list with a lengthy treatise on how terrible you feel for adding to the great glut of top tens and twenty bests; besides, if you really felt ill over it, you’d keep the damnable thing to yourself, being most likely your own whole audience anyway. Furthermore, if anyone actually cared to read your proclamation, don’t you think they’d find an apology rather superfluous? Just ditch the guilt.

Extra stage

Will — Fri, 26 Dec 2008 18:08:35 +0000

A few more clears from this afternoon.

10:
Make Me Your Own [a]

11:
Halfway of promise [a]
Harmony + Lovely [a]
Quantum Teleportation [a]
Second heaven [a]

It’s not productivity per se, but it sure feels like accomplishment.

Happy New Clears!

Will — Thu, 25 Dec 2008 22:05:51 +0000

Since I haven’t received DJ Troopers yet, I gave myself the gift of brand new clears on Gold and DistorteD.

10s:
Get On Beat (Wild Style) [a] (I never thought I’d do this one; the key is LOW SPEED)
Jive Into The Night [a]
Kakumei [a] (Award for worst clear, only got a C)
Photongenic [a]
Roulette [a]

11s:
Gold Rush [a]
Laser cruster [h] (Finally!)
The Detonator [a]
TYPE MARS (G-Style Mix) [a]

Yup.

Hey

Will — Sun, 02 Nov 2008 18:51:18 +0000

We’re all humans.

Glitch

Will — Fri, 24 Oct 2008 00:50:37 +0000

Note to users of Facebook’s iPhone application: the current version has a bug that allows any user to tag any photo to which they have viewing privileges. Not only that, but the tag appears as originating with the owner of the photo. To utilize this “feature,” tap and hold on a photo to display tags, then tap using another finger in the area you wish to place a tag. You are now doing it for the lulz.

Can’t see what’s going on out there

Will — Thu, 16 Oct 2008 23:43:12 +0000

My stars, I would love a new computer. Newer streaming content and media-rich sites barely function on this nearly 7 year old beast, plus I can’t watch videos hiccup-free if my iPod is plugged in, and iTunes’ performance is a joke. Considering I more or less exclusively use technology for media delivery like everyone else these days, it probably stands to reason that I should save up and get something new. But what? And how long do I have to wait until there is funding?

Cars

Will — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 13:45:15 +0000

I find myself seated in the waiting area of the nearby Saturn dealership. Let me be the first to say that hell doesn’t need any kind of special reception area: it could simply send people here. Initially I was excited to see what appeared to be a different and thoroughly professional experience ahead of me, but when the very detailed report of my issues that I had described (humiliatingly) over the phone last week was nowhere to be found, along with any record of my appointment, my high hopes shrank to infinitesimal ones. After describing all the sounds my vehicle is making again (humiliatingly), I was presented with a promised bill of at least $89.95 for diagnostic time and asked to watch this horrible mother enact her corporal punishment fantasies on her poorly mannered youngster. I need to be more careful about letting myself get stuck in these situations. When the gut say run, you run.

Also I can’t wait to move to a city and get free of the four-wheeled tyrant.

Age

Will — Mon, 13 Oct 2008 23:16:29 +0000

If you didn’t know me, and I told you I was taking my evening sherry and retiring to bed now, at 7:16 pm, how old would you guess me to be?